Good morning, afternoon or evening, even middle of the night if that is when you are reading this. It has been a few weeks since I have posted anything, but you know, when you just aren’t feeling inspired it is hard to put words together. Anyone else ever have that problem?
So, last time I was here, I was shouting praises to the She’s Still There book. This time I am just finishing up an online study of that book and going through it a second time!
Can I just tell you, it amazes me how much you miss sometimes in the first reading of certain books and where it hits you the first time is not where it hits you the second time around?
If any of you rushed out and purchased it last time, I am telling you, READ IT AGAIN! OMG! The section I am currently on is all about our self-talk….hold on come back here, don’t run off yet! I know it is a touchy subject, but we are our own worst enemies most of the time.
Last night as I was reading through Chapter 24 I realized all of a sudden why I have been in such a funk the last 4 weeks, I had simply been beating myself up over something I had to do, but in doing that “thing” I felt like I was quitting, failing and giving up.
Now I don’t know about you, all of those things don’t sit well with me in my head. When was the last time you did something that needed to be done or delivered some hard truth to a friend, loved one or co-worker and even though you were simply being honest with them or yourself, you left the conversation feeling guilty?
Sometimes, we take on the burdens of others and place blame on ourselves. It is realizing that you are only one person. It is the old saying of “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” that struck me last night. Even though I knew going into the situation that my heart was right and I trusted the process that led me to the conversation I had to deliver, the feelings it left me with were sadness and a feeling of failing another person. Unfortunately, those feelings spilled over into the last 4 weeks of my life. Doubt, uncertainty, and every mistake or moment of irritation quickly turned into a “you’re not good enough” moment in my brain.
Yesterday afternoon, my amazing friend Melissa shot me a random text asking “how can I pray for you today friend?“ While I processed her request, I giggled at how she had no idea that I had been struggling with my own insecurities for weeks, but God did and he used her to reach my heart.
So, as I read the designated chapter for the day last night, my heart screamed “GIRL! YOU ARE PERFECTLY AND WONDERFULLY MADE!!!” And this morning I awoke with words in my mind and sense of renewal and feeling inspired to share my words with you.
As I end today, I would like to share a part of an article on Self-love by Charlie Chaplin:
“As I began to love myself, I found that anguish and emotional suffering are only warning signs that I was living against my own truth. Today, I know, this is AUTHENTICITY.
As I began to love myself, I understood how much it can offend somebody as I try to force my desires on this person, even though I knew the time was not right and the person was not ready for it, and even though this person was me. Today, I call it RESPECT.
As I began to love myself, I stopped craving a different life, and I could see that everything that surrounded me was inviting me to grow. Today, I call it MATURITY.
As I began to love myself, I understood that at any circumstance, I am in the right place at the right time, and everything happens at exactly the right moment. So I could be calm. Today I call it SELF-CONFIDENCE.”