New Year’s Eve 2018

New Year’s Eve 2018

It is hard to believe it is only hours away from 2018 ending and 2019 beginning! I wasn’t sure I would find time to write one last time before the end of the year, but as I was driving the other morning listening to my audiobook, a question arose in the reading that caught my attention.

Have you ever wondered what the caterpillars think about? Of course, my ears perked right up, and I found myself listening intently. While I love the thought process behind what that mighty little caterpillar does, transforming itself into a gorgeous and strong butterfly. I can’t say I have ever contemplated about what that caterpillar must be thinking while he is crawling around in the dirt, shimming up leaves and plant stalks and then all of a sudden he becomes tired and takes a long nap. Does that little bug know what is about to happen? Does it know how gorgeous it will be in just days? Can it even imagine that this kind of change is possible? Then one day it happens, the chrysalis breaks open and with all its might, what once was a caterpillar, musters up its strength and pushes it way out to discover it has wings!

If you have ever kept a caterpillar and watched this transformation happen, you know it is a slow process. When the butterfly first emerges, it slowly flaps its wings to dry them off, then we take ours outside and set it on plant and wait as this amazing creature continues to prepare itself for flight. Suddenly, off it goes! Into the wind never to be seen again.

When I think about this from a human perspective, it is so close to our own lives. Do you ever stop and think about your life and where it is now? Do you wonder where it will be in 5yrs? Are there things you wish you could change? What if like the caterpillar, you are sitting in the dirt, climbing up and down a leafy stalk wondering what’s next. It would be nice if all it took were a nap, but all it does take is a change of mindset. Life consists of 50% positive and 50% negative. Change is scary, people often don’t like it, and those who know you may get freaked out by it. It’s ok! As we get ready to sleep on Dec 31 and ponder a New Years resolution, think about this:

You have been wandering around circling the same plant and the same dirt track for so long, and you’re exhausted, so you take your nap, and when you wake you stretch YOUR wings, open your mind and push through all the negative self-talk and decide it’s time for a New YOU!

As we get ready to end 2018, let your mind explore all of the good, bad and ugly: then decide what you’re taking with you into 2019 and make a commitment to start fresh. There is only one person who can choose to transform it, YOU!

God Bless and Hugs,

Grateful, Thankful and Blessed

Grateful, Thankful and Blessed

As I sit in my office this morning, watching the snow come down, I am reminded that winter is upon us. While Thanksgiving was just days ago, Christmas will be here in the blink of an eye and yes, another new year is almost upon us!

I am incredibly grateful to the exceptional ladies who work at Chrysalis Hair Designs; they are the rock to my roll. Through all of the twists and turns in this journey, they have been with me. Each one of them has a special gift that builds a great TEAM, and I couldn’t and don’t want to do it without them. Just like the saying, “not sisters by blood, but sisters by heart” is what I feel like towards these amazing women. At different times, they have supported, uplifted, disliked, scratched their heads at me, and loved me (despite my moments of weakness). Yet, they encourage me to keep moving forward. They are my family, and I love that even in our differences, we all come together to create and share our beautiful gift of “Spreading Beauty,” with YOU!

I am especially thankful for YOU, the guest at Chrysalis Hair Designs! I am often overwhelmed with the love and support of those who have helped and watched us grow. Each year, when we open our doors for the Holiday Open House, I am reminded of why I love my “jobby” (a hobby that you do for a job). Our open house is my favorite day of the year! I love interacting with our guests, just because. I also love being able to give a little gift to YOU for your support all year long. I am blessed to be able to provide a place where our guests enjoy coming, and my hope is that you always leave feeling valued and loved.

For many years, after losing my dad, the holidays have seemed bittersweet. When I opened Chrysalis Hair Designs, got married, and had my son, I cried that he was missing it. What I realized later was, he wasn’t missing it, I was! I was so busy missing him that I couldn’t be in the moment and enjoying the gifts that were right in front of me.
Don’t get me wrong, grief is a necessity, but there is nothing we can do to stop the cycle of life. It wasn’t until the past few years that I was able to go into this season with gladness. While I still miss him, I am reminded of all that I have here. Instead, my dad isn’t missing any of my life, he is just watching from a different angle. Please, for your own sake, if you have lost a loved one, spend a moment thinking of them, and consider the view they now have of your life. They aren’t missing any of it – YIKES! (you better be good.)

As Christmas quickly approaches, and your plates feel full, take time to love your family, friends and maybe reconnect with those who you have lost touch with. Or, mend those fences that may have been broken. Make memories and share stories of laughter from those who have passed, and rejoice in the moment in front of you.

I am thankful, grateful and blessed for each one of you! I hope that your holiday season is filled with plates of cookies, gifts of love, warm hearts and family traditions!

What is your exact brand of beautiful?

What is your exact brand of beautiful?

What is your exact brand of beautiful?

Some of you may know that I am not the most organized person in the world. I can clean off my desk with the best of them, write a few appointments on the calendar and tidy up a bit. The problem: I often stumble back to the mess and getting caught up in life and before I know it my old ways of processing information and “stuff” creeps back in.

Recently, I started listening to a podcast called “The Life Coach School” by Brooke Castillo.  During one of her podcast, Brooke said something that I stopped what I was doing to write it down (being unorganized, I now have to remember where it is… just kidding I know where it is).  Here is what Brooke said, “Your thoughts and words are artistic expressions- they are your exact brand of beautiful.” Sit on that just a minute…. Whoa! In case you are interested, here is a link to her podcast.

My thoughts: What does my exact brand of beautiful look like, here goes….

  1. I often let fear guide my thinking – fear is not pretty! Fear holds us back from reaching our full potential and allowing us to serve out the purpose we were put on this earth for. How do we overcome fear? We change the words that we say to ourselves. Often, I use music to remind me.  My go-to songs are “Fear is a liar” by Zach Williams and “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli.

  2. I believe that there are still good people in the world. This is sometimes a struggle to remember, but as I step into the salon each day, I am surrounded by some of those “good” people. Each one of the ladies at the salon has a good heart, and they each put forth their smiles and come to work prepared to listen and care for our guests. I was reminded of the goodness in the world when walking into Kroger the other day. A woman and her teenage daughter stopped and offered to help an elderly gentleman get his groceries into his car. Moments later, those same ladies joined me in the line for coffee.  I was given the opportunity to be able to reward them by paying for their drinks, paying forward their kindness.

  3. As many of us do, I know I’m not alone here, I look in the mirror and criticize my body, my wrinkles, search for grey hair (or my silver lining) and spend more time evaluating than I do giving thanks that I woke up today. There is breath in my lungs, and I can walk, I had hot water and was able to clean myself properly, I had breakfast, lunch and dinner and a snack or 5 (LOL). You get the point.

  4. It is easy to look back and think I should’ve done this better, changed this, and taken the time to do xyz…. The past is just that, the past. Let it go! It is hard, but it is what gave you strength to end up right where you are today. The more you let the past control you, the more you give that person, the thing that happened, situation, etc. the control to determine the actions, attitude, and achievements of today.

In conclusion of this, I want to end with a little vulnerable confession: I have always loved writing, journaling and putting my thoughts on paper. As a teen, poetry was my way of expression, as a young adult, it was journaling my days, good and bad, for a while I was so lost I couldn’t even find words to express my feelings, and today, I journal my thoughts, prayers and step out and share some of these thoughts with you. There is fear in sharing publicly. Will people read it? What will they think? I don’t know the answer to these questions, but what I do know is that in this journey called life, I feel called to inspire YOU! If one message I put out inspires only one person to be “their exact brand of beautiful” then I have succeeded. Take a minute today to check your thoughts, words, and actions. What does your artwork look like? Is it messy and unfinished or is it a beautiful masterpiece in progress? Make today the day that you ask yourself… “Does the thought I am currently having help me or hurt me?”

Transform your brand of beautiful starting today!

Until next time!



Who Told You That?

Who Told You That?

     “Who told you that?” This has been the question my friend asked me recently as I messaged her in a day where sadness filled my heart for no reason. (I mean truly, there was a reason, I just wasn’t willing to admit it to myself at that moment) You may be asking, “Who told me what?”  What I’m talking about are the things that we often tell ourselves. The negative self-talk that flows through your mind as you look in the mirror, as you drive down the road or sit in your office after a conversation where someone expresses displeasure with you or something that they didn’t like. The thoughts that our mind says that our heart says: “No, no, no.”  but our mind talks louder at that moment.

     What do you do when the person looking back at you in the mirror says, “You’re not good enough, unworthy, failure, not successful enough, not a good mother, wife, friend ….” you get the picture. What do you tell that person? Do you confirm her negative comments or do you reject them and replace the words with positive affirmations?

     After meeting with a wonderful group of ladies the other afternoon, I realized my self-talk had been my issue. I was believing the lies my mind was whispering. My amazing friend reminded me once again of 2 things…

     Who told you that? Who in your life told you that lie, who made you believe that about yourself or where did you get the feeling that someone thought of you?

“Whose are you?”  For me, I am God’s child and he would never talk about me the way I speak of myself at times, he would never call me unworthy or unlovable. When I take a moment to think of what he would say, it is loved, unconditionally, beautiful inside and out, smart, funny, he might even say perfect 🙂

It doesn’t matter what you believe, whoever your “universal parent” is, what matters is that you believe in YOU!

You are beautiful, unique, wonderful and perfectly made. You were created to rise and fall and life is full of ups and downs. What you believe is up to YOU!

Open your mind, listen to your heart and choose JOY!

Until next time,

  Good morning, afternoon or evening, even middle of the night if that is when you are reading this. It has been a few weeks since I have posted anything, but you know, when you just aren’t feeling inspired it is hard to put words together. Anyone else ever have that problem?

   So, last time I was here, I was shouting praises to the She’s Still There book. This time I am just finishing up an online study of that book and going through it a second time!

  Can I just tell you, it amazes me how much you miss sometimes in the first reading of certain books and where it hits you the first time is not where it hits you the second time around?

  If any of you rushed out and purchased it last time, I am telling you, READ IT AGAIN! OMG!   The section I am currently on is all about our self-talk….hold on come back here, don’t run off yet! I know it is a touchy subject, but we are our own worst enemies most of the time.

  Last night as I was reading through Chapter 24 I realized all of a sudden why I have been in such a funk the last 4 weeks, I had simply been beating myself up over something I had to do, but in doing that “thing” I felt like I was quitting, failing and giving up.

  Now I don’t know about you, all of those things don’t sit well with me in my head. When was the last time you did something that needed to be done or delivered some hard truth to a friend, loved one or co-worker and even though you were simply being honest with them or yourself, you left the conversation feeling guilty?

  Sometimes, we take on the burdens of others and place blame on ourselves. It is realizing that you are only one person. It is the old saying of “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink” that struck me last night. Even though I knew going into the situation that my heart was right and I trusted the process that led me to the conversation I had to deliver, the feelings it left me with were sadness and a feeling of failing another person.  Unfortunately, those feelings spilled over into the last 4 weeks of my life. Doubt, uncertainty, and every mistake or moment of irritation quickly turned into a “you’re not good enough” moment in my brain.

 Yesterday afternoon, my amazing friend Melissa shot me a random text asking “how can I pray for you today friend?“ While I processed her request, I giggled at how she had no idea that I had been struggling with my own insecurities for weeks, but God did and he used her to reach my heart.

You will never find time for anything, if you want the time you have to make it.

You will never find time for anything, if you want the time you have to make it.

“You will never find time for anything if you want the time you have to make it.”

I found this sentence staring back at me from the top of my planner the other day. It is funny to me the reminders that show up often to keep me in check of the things I am working on in my personal and professional life. This little statement is BIG and a source of contention in our house. I, ever the optimist and my husband, ever the pessimist often disagree on this subject. While I can move, shuffle and shake things around to make time for something important, he struggles with letting go of the schedule and commonly adds “ I don’t have time.” It doesn’t make either of us right or wrong we just prioritize our days differently.

I said the word prioritize, I know, are you SCARED? Let me add the word balance to that and I am starting to get a twitchy eye. Just kidding, in all seriousness, when we learn to make choices on who, what and when people and things get our time, we begin to find a little balance in our lives. I never said it was easy, actually, it is one of the hardest things I have done over the last year and a half. Finding the courage to say no to friends and family for this people pleasing “yes “girl has been a challenge.

What I have learned is that over time there is freedom in putting the things that are important first on my list. Freedom to be more in the moment, freedom to be focused, freedom from guilt and freedom to just be and be ok with that.

I am always reading and the last book I read was on priorities, you guessed it! It listed prioritizing in this order: spiritual, tending to your own heart, husband, kids, household, friends and then everything else. Personally, I do put my faith first most mornings and if adding coffee equals tending my own heart, then I have that mastered, but from there the lines get blurred.

After coffee, I normally feel like a dog chasing my tail as I get breakfast for my son, pack lunches, oh yeah let’s throw some laundry in, oh wait, a shower, why aren’t you dressed son, then comes the 5 minute warning and yep you guessed it running out the door late.

How many of us really take the time to balance our lives? How easy is it to stick to the plan you make? Making the plan is the easy part for me, following through is hard. Life happens and before you know it, I am back to tail chasing. Writing for me is a joy. I schedule a time to do it and distractions happen.

This post actually started 2 weeks ago and I was frustrated that I let something take over the priority. Then, the other day sitting in the sun I realized all I needed for the words to flow was sunshine and a peaceful spot. I could’ve given up on it but it brings me joy to share words with you. I may have let life plan me for a moment, but I refused to let it own me, and I tried again.

In closing, I sit in the sun at one of my favorite places, prioritizing and seeking balance in my heart. (Look, I’m tending me) and when I leave this space I will follow the rest of my plan for the day. Today may be good, tomorrow may be messy.

If you are one of those super organized people, I applaud you and am jealous. If you are not, just start one step at a time and plan. If and when you fall off the wagon, get back on, don’t beat yourself up, find your focus and DON’T feel guilty. Perfection is not what is expected it is in continuing to try that we achieve!